MYTH: Seniors Should Stay in their Home

We've created a rule in our society that says it is always best for seniors to say in their own home as long as possible. For many seniors this rule is sentencing them to a life of isolation and sadness. Experience is my teacher.

The theory around keeping people in their own homes is to keep them engaged in life. The false assumption that underlies this theory is that there is a direct connection between a person being in their own home and how engaged they are. Now don't get me wrong, there are situations where it is absolutely the right thing to do to help an aging senior to stay in their own home. In these situations the person usually has lived in the same location for a long time and as strong relationships with neighbors. It is not unusual in these homes to have multiple visits by neighbors each day, often with the neighbors walking in the door without knocking like family. In these situations the person usually has a large number of relatives in the area and the family has frequent interactions. In these situations the person usually still gets around easily and participates actively in  community activities. I would argue that you can judge whether a person should stay in their own home by the number of non-medical people they interact with directly over the course of a week. I don't have a specific number that says stay or go but if there are many direct interactions it is probably fine for the person to stay in their home. If there are few, encouraging them to stay in their own home is diminishing their quality of life. Don't do it.

In addition, you need to base your decision on the current situation. Too often, especially those of us family members who have moved a distance away, base our decision on our memory of how active the person's house used to be. That is not good. A house that was active when family lived in the area may be very quiet now that they have moved away. A person who was active when they had a car may have no way to participate now. A person who was active when their significant other was healthy may be the isolated caregiver now and if their partner dies very often they will not be able to reconnect with people and activities they had before they were caregivers.

It would be great if everyone could stay in their own home for their whole life but many can't. Many shouldn't. Helping those seniors move into a senior living center may add years to their lives and most certainly will significantly improve their quality of life.

End the myth. Do an honest evaluation and act accordingly.